Dreaming and pretending

Lately I've been having these weird baby dreams. I'll be pregnant, or a new mom. I never really know who the dad is, or even if there IS a father, but that never seems to matter. Then something weird happens. One time, the baby started talking...like an adult. Another time, someone stole the baby from me.

I'm big on dream analysis. Not in the psycho-babble way, but in a subconscious revelation way. My mother thinks that it's because I'm coming to terms with my new responsibilities as an adult. I am more inclined to think that it's a manifestation of the age-old cliche: the ticking of the female biological clock.

If my boyfriend happens to read this, I want to make it perfectly clear: I DO NOT WANT A BABY RIGHT NOW.

That being said, I am really just becoming more aware of my own mortality than ever before in my life. Think about it...when my mother was my age, she was engaged. When my grandmother was my age, she was already married. Granted, society has pushed back the average age of marriage; being 23 and unattached is the new norm. And I certainly have no desire to rush into any lifelong commitments, be they child or marriage. I can't even decide on a major/minor combination, for God's sake.

But the fact is, I am starting to complete those items on my to-do list for life.

Graduate high school: check
Go to college: check
Move out: check
Find a career: not yet
Get married: not yet
Have a family: not yet

Yes, this is basic. But it's still half-finished. How weird is that?

Sometimes I feel like I'm just a little kid, playing pretend. Other times, I think that I'm not playing anymore.