True to my word...sort of.

I know I said I wouldn't get personal anymore. And I won't. Somewhat.

Tonight I met up with a bunch of people at a bar uptown. Most of the old gang from high school. And K. and I were just talking, about how none of the boys have really changed since then. Someone said that all the girls have changed was their hair colors and lengths. And at the time, I agreed, maybe because I wanted that security. I don't know. But the more I think about it, it just isn't true. We're all older, we're all a little more mature. A little less sporadic. We sat around and talked about our lives...most of the gang still lives in our hometown, but myself and another always have a little catching up to do when we all hang out. And we just talked...about high school, and what we miss, and what we don't, and what's different now. So much is different. For the better.

For a while we were talking about relationships, and I kind of felt like I was destined to be the "friend who never marries". You all know the one. There's always that one person who bounces from relationship to rocky relationship and never even wants to settle down. But then I realized that's ridiculous. Yes, I am afraid of commitment. But I am also ready for some stability in my life. Just a little...I don't want anything to be too predictable.

I've begun to realize the weight that comfort carries when it comes to how close two people get. Meems and I are completely comfortable with each other. I can say anything or nothing to her, do anything around her, and she gets me. Same goes for me and K. We had entire conversations today without speaking a single word...because we have that comfort and understanding. And that certainly doesn't only apply to friendships.

I'm going to stop now. It's three-thirty in the morning, I'm practically typing in my sleep, and I'm pretty sure I'm already on the verge of incoherence. I don't want to read this tomorrow and wonder what the hell I was trying to say.

Understand?