Egocentrism never seemed more appropriate

So today, someone told me that I have "a way of making a person feel like they know you without giving away too much". I'm not quite sure how to take that. I mean, I suppose it's a compliment, because I suppose it must take a certain amount of skill or talent to give that sort of insight while still retaining the certain amount of anonymity that I hold so dear. But at the same time...that's not what I want this blog to be about at all. I want to write about things, reactions, what I see and hear. But I inevitably wind up writing about myself.

I guess that's okay really. I mean, I'm nineteen years old. The stage in life during which I can be completely self-centered is quickly drawing to a close. As a child, a person cares about nothing and no one else, and that's okay. They're not expected to be mature enough to care about anything else. But really, at this stage in life, my focus has spread. I look out for my family and friends, my employees and coworkers, etc., just like everyone else my age. But "me" still comes first for many of us, and that is still okay. We're all little more than children playing dress-up for the most part; we're the little girls who play with mommy's makeup to experiment, the little boys who follow their dads around with a hammer and nails. Only now we're playing with our own sense of independence and self-reliance. I'm speaking in generalities of course; there will always be the maturity-retarded few who can't seem to catch up with the rest. But they'll suffer the consequences of their refusual to grow up sooner or later.

Eventually we'll all have to stop being pretend grown-ups and start being real ones. We'll have to put our spouses, children, and careers before ourselves. And that's a scary thought, for me at least. Imagine having someone who is more important to you than you are to yourself. It's weird. Maybe I just think that because I've never really been in that postition, and I know I won't be anytime soon. Is it weird that I fully recognize the fact that I'm not mature/stable/prepared enough for a real relationship? Did I get fucked up that badly, or did I just grow up a lot these past few months? I prefer to believe the latter. I don't think any person, male or female, friend or foe, could affect me that much. The only person I want to change me is me.